It certainly takes courage to be single in your fifties. There is such a joy to being able to do whatever you want without permission Or maybe our patience for bad or boring behaviour is lessened by the ebbing of a biological need or ability to reproduce. Do we fancy fewer people as we get older? Perhaps. But, even if that were an option (having teen children is a pretty good boyfriend repellent, I find), I am still very, very picky. After divorce number two, my eldest made me promise “no more step-dads”. And indeed, concern for them is another important factor in why I am not flinging myself at the first available man.
Of course, having three children, aged nine, 13 and 16, does clip my wings a bit. I can go on holiday when and where I want, I can eat the food I fancy and spend my money exactly as I please. I can be fabulously, unashamedly selfish. I don’t have to cook “his” dinner or do “his” washing. I don’t have to go to boring business dinners as a plus-one, or schlep up the motorway to visit someone else’s parents. My children are becoming more independent and this is my golden time. My mother is pretty self-sufficient, for now.
Many fiftysomething women’s desire for a different kind of life is also hindered by the need to look after ageing parents and/or demanding children. Their comfort eating and drinking is often a symptom of their unhappiness – but a fear of being alone stops them from tackling the real problem. Yet, dig a little deeper, and what they really want to divest themselves of is the big lump in the armchair called their husband. They come to me because they want to lose their menopausal tummies. As a nutritionist and hypnotherapist, I see many fiftysomething women. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.
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